Tears

I am drowning in my own tears
I stumble wearily through the blur of days while dreading the nights
I am a hostage of my nightmares and the darkness
Dusk is the daily reminder that the nightmare is alive and well
There is no escape for me
My heart screams in agony
There is no reprieve, no help for me
There is no balm for my wounds because they are so deep
I am writing and my search for safety is ongoing
Everywhere I look I see others grieving you
You were my sunshine, my carefree abandon
Your smile was my hope
I do not know how to live without you
I am young but feel the burden of someone a hundred
I scurry about franctically because the alternative is so tempting
I fear the indulgence and stay in bed, my cocoon
In my dream I pleaded for you to stay
Your eyes danced, your smile embraced me
I begged for the mercy of getting you back
I wake up each day to walk off the demons
I am so tired and this journey seems endless
I am trying to prevail
Struggling is not familar to me
You have left an abyss and I am by a thread
I take nothing for granted
Even breathing is a challenge
Often I hear my jagged breaths before I feel them
The harsh sound pierces through the silence
My anguish breaks out
I wheeze, being still offers no comfort
I feel awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin
I am a snail without a shell
Now I must retreat into the safety of hiding.