Pain

I wish that I could say that I am perfect
I wish sometimes that I would not be who I am
One day I decided to think on this....
Could I ever on my own conceive,
Of someone I did not know, but need?
I must be made to be at peace and communion
'Cause somehow I know that I've fallen
I find through every ounce of pain I feel,
That my mind can't deny that God is real.
The inconsistency of what I say should be,
Compared to what I am in actuality.
It leaves me in conclusion that I know the way,
Although I am unable to obey.
Nothing in this world has satisfied
My soul's hunger for a deeper life.
The weight of my misdeeds were crushing, binding me,
I'm still with pain inside but now I see,
The pieces of my life are scattered on the floor,
I stared at them 'til I could do no more
I don't deserve to be set free,
Forgiveness is what I desperately need.
If it wasn't for the perfect blood shed,
Would I not be dead?
But I live instead.
I know my faith's still here,
Believing that through my lonely tear.